We found him!
This is the Lance Corporal responsible for everything wrong in the Marine Corps, he’s the very reason every regulation exists–because Lance Corporal Schmuckatelli went out into town and fucked it up for everyone else.
For those of you outside of our little secret club here, Schmuckatelli is a generic name used by higher-ups to describe any hypothetical Lance Corporal that goes and makes an ass of himself.
His name is not Schmuckatelli. He is actually a Sgt who works at Quantico.